Dying (Earth) Characters

You might be thinking to yourself "What can I expect to find here in the future and why the f**k should I even read this pile of drek?" My answer would be "I dunno, you have a sick need for self punishment?"

Another answer might be that I am going to write as often as I can, perhaps even every day (yeah, that is a rather grand thought!) and what you might find here are a great many things. I plan on doing reviews of books and films, games, miniatures and a host of other things. Also, you might see me muse on the campaign I am running at the moment, and I am gearing up for a big one. It is going to be a kind of Dying Earth + Conan/Solomon Kane world with a bit of Lovecraft added. I am also thinking of a new mechanic whereby the Wizard can cast spells of a higher level than they are allowed traditionally by instituting a spell failure percentage. The greater disparity between their highest level allowable spell and the spell they are trying to cast will incur a 5-10% deduction from their percentage chance to successfully cast a spell. Also, if they completely nail the spell (roll a 1-5%) on the attempt then the spell will have added bonuses in its effects.

More about that when I figure it out.

So far for the summer campaign I have a Druid, a Wizard, a Paladin, a Halfling Thief and (perhaps) a Barbarian. A nice mix to be sure, but the best part is that I told each player that they had to play a character class that they had not played before. I think that this will be a nice way to mix it up. Another added bonus is that I am using a spell list for wizards that is not in the PHB, they are all spells that have a more Dying Earth (Jack Vance) flavor to them.

It should be interesting...

Wizard Needs Food...Badly!

yeah, I am changing the blog again. Apocalypse Trousers, while a cool idea, was just not broad enough an idea for me to write over much. So, this is the new blog, same address, different and broader focus.

Appendix Gamma --- Riddley Walker by Russel Hoban

By far, Riddley Walker is the most unique Post Apocalyptic Novel I think I have ever read. It was published in 1980, but Hoban started writing it in 1974 after a trip to Canterbury Cathedral. He won the John W. Campbell Award in 1982 which tells you that, although this is quality writing, it has been rather slow to gain popularity. Since its first publication it has also been a Play (Hoban wrote the script for this in 1986) and also a Puppet Show (Trouble Puppets of Austin TX) and Hoban helped them with their show as well. You can catch a few scenes from the play on youtube, but not much, and the DVD remains rare and elusive. So, you are just gonna have to read it, Mutie!

I admit, with a certain amount of shame, that this work remained unknown to yours truely until two years ago when my pal Travis sent me a copy for Yule. It sat on my test for a month before I picked it up...man, sometimes I am stupid! I regret not having been exposed to this book sooner. Its fantastic and without spoilers I will tell you why.

The narrative is in the form of diary entries by the title character, Riddley Walker, himself and takes place in Southern England two thousand years in the future, after a nuclear war. The technology level of this society is as it was in Iron Age England, but they do not mine the metal...they dig up the old buried technology and re-purpose or smelt it for the metal. This is not the best thing about Riddley's world. In this future the government and religion have merged and are controlled by teams of puppeteers who use Punch and Judy puppets as both gospel and propaganda. I know...it sounds strange, but you have to read it for the full effect. Riddley Walker presents his diary in the dialect of the time which takes a bit to get used to. The reader is forced to slow down and take it all in...and think about what they are reading. For some idea of the linguistics of the thing, Riddley Walker was an obvious influence on Beyond Thunderdome. The dialect that the children speak is a simplified version of it and some mythic characters from the book are human characters in Thunderdome. The most obvious of these is Auntie Entity, who in the book is the personification of Death. There is a rhyme that says of her "Stoan boans and iron tits and teef be twean her legs". Also, those of you familiar with Thunderdome also notice that the saviour that the kids are waiting for is named...Capt. Walker.

Hoban includes future iterations of children's rhymes, full blown mythic narratives and a whole lot of other goodies.

If you read one book this year, make it Riddley Walker! It has appeal that reaches beyond the Post Apoc, into religion, technology, linguistics, folklore and a host of other things. Treat yourself to this one.

I treat you now to the Wood of Stoan...

Good Morning....Ladies of the Wastelands IV

G'Morning Mutants,

Here is a little something to wake you up this fine Wasteland Wednesday...

Say hellow to Sally.
Sally is an Libra and her ideal Sunday afternoon is sleeping in late and raiding the countryside in her tricked out Gyro Copter.

Turn Ons
Mysterious Men who wander the wastes, V8 Interceptor, 101 Fun Things to do with Electrical Tape.

Turn Offs
Walking away from the Gasoline

Ladies of the Wastes (got to be a better name for this!) III

                                            Better treat her well...She'll shoot ya and loot ya!
                                                                        Mrawr!

Her name is E and she likes long leisurely walks in the cindery wastes, finding long lost caches of un-irradiated Capris Sun and fighing waist deep in the skeletons of the old world for the last bottle of water.

Damnation Alley

Greetings Mutants,

Your pal Jeffrey here to tell you what to read, again. Today's tastey treat is the classic novel, Damnation Alley by Roger Zelazny. Yeah, you could watch the film, but as always, the book is better.

We meet Hell Tanner, Felon, Murderer, Rapist and Anti-Hero. No, he is not an easy guy to like...in fact he is down right rotten. but in this situation, rotten is just what they need. Boston has been hit by a plague and the Nation of California wants to send help in the form of an Antiserum. The only thing that stands between Boston and the cure is (you guessed it!) 2000 or so miles of irradiated, Giant Scorpion infested Wasteland called "Damnation Alley". Even the weather is ruined in the Post Apocalyptic world. Follow the exploits of Tanner as he drives the Alley in a quest for a full pardon from the nation of California.

This book bears little resemblance to the film of the same name, staring Jan Michael Vincent and George Pepard. Yeah, those of you who have read the book and seen the film know what I mean. The movie version of Damnation Alley is cheesy and very late 1970s. Rather than souped up cars it even features the vehicle from the television show Arc II...but NO monkey!

That vehicle looks like this...

Behold, the Landmaster. An actual vehicle. Now it is in the hands of a private owner and has been refurbished. I know, not in the book but it would still be very cool to own this thing. I would drive it to work, in my very own Damnation Alley, that involves Lawyers, business men and academics.

Back to the film. As I said, the film bears very little resemblence to the book other than it is a Post Apoc, cross country buddy film romp. The main characters in the film are Air Force officers who were once charged with the operation of a missle silo. They find this vehicle in AF storage and decide to go out east looking for civilization. The encounter radioactive mutant scorpions, flesh eating roaches, itinerant dancers and children (Still NO Monkey!) and Las Vegas on the way.

I know, my review of the book is too brief and of the film not complimentary enough to be helpful. My problem is that I hate spoilers. If you want to know how the book and movie compare the only way you can really do that is by reading and watching...and you should. If you are a fan of the End as I am both of these things are very much worth the time. The book, well, its Zelazny for crying out loud...and its a really well written classic. Read it!

As far as the film, sure, its cheesy, but it is a lot of fun to watch. Even if you only watch the first part of it. There is a 15 minute section at the beginning where they show the atomic war and what happens when they launch the missiles...for those of you who are around my age and lived though the cold war its the stuff of our childhood nightmares...get some popcorn and watch it!

Ever read Farnham's Freehold? Take a look...

A real life working fallout shelter built by a real life Science Fiction Author...take a look!


Heinlein's Fallout Shelter!

A Boy and his Dog: a rather kinky tale of survival

Greetings Mutants,

As you may or may not know (or care!) I just recently aquired the graphic novelization of Vic and Blood by Harlan Ellison, with art by Richard Corban. It gets five mushroom clouds.

In 1975 they releised a film adaptation of the book and it had been almost two decades since I saw that one. To give you an idea, I first saw this movie on VHS tape. I only really remembered the freaky 70s kind of stuff with Jason Robards and co.

This one is directed and the screenplay written by L. Q. Jones. I cannot say that I have ever seen anything else he's done...that I know of. He did alright I guess. I have read that there are a lot of people who complain about an over all note of misogyny in the film and I can see that. The origenal story is not misogynistic, but as Mr. Ellison states...Misanthropic. The viewer can see a bit of this too.

In this adaptation, Vic is played by a very young Don Johnson and is said to be 18 in the movie. In the short stories Vic is 15 and although it does not seem that there would be much difference, I think that the dynamic between Vic and the world is different because of his age (in the short stories) because in our world a 15 year old is not really thought of as an adult. Mr. Johnson does a nice job playing Vic, who was portrayed as little more than a savage by Ellison.

They dog they got to play Blood was a nice choice. I was glad they did not get a breed of dog that is thought of as being martial in nature, like a German Sheperd or Mastiff or some such thing. Tim McIntyre did the voice acting for Blood and I thought it sounded about right. The maturity of the voice added a tone of wisdom to Blood that is there in the Novella.

Quilla June Holmes is played by Susanne Benton who was in Catch 22 and a bunch of TV shows. Ms. Benton was an attractive and rather innocent looking young woman who looks like she might be concealing a streak of naughty underneath. And, so she was! Ms. Benton really played up the ambitious and scheming nature of the Quilla June character and I think did quite well.

The sets were cool, lots of desert and abandoned industrial landscapes, but some of these were a bit too clean for my tastes. I understand why, this was not a film with a huge budget and they worked with what they had. I was sorry that they did not have the screamers in the film on screen...but they did at least imply them off camera and that was OK. I just would have liked to have seen some mutant screamers. You know me.

Over all I think that film was a good adaptation. As a side note, in the forward to the Vic and Blood graphic novel, Mr. Ellison states that he liked the movie except for the controversial last line. I do not believe in spoilers, so I am not gonna tell you what that line is. I will only reiterate what Ellison said of the line "VIC DIDN'T TOUCH THE MEAT!"

So, if you like you some Post Apoc cinema, pick this one up and take a look. Its dated to be sure, but it was made in the 70s. Also, Lord Humungous commands that you read the Graphic Novel or at least the Novella...because Harlan Ellison Rocks!

The seaside town that they forgot to bomb...

The End can be really quiet....Morrissey can even make it sound nice. Here is a song about the end of the world at a small resort town in England...

Ladies of the Wastes II

Well, my mutants, here is the second installment of Ladies of the Wastes...

Yeah...I know! Its hard to find really good ones. You know, artisitic enough...post apoc enough...not over doing the whole electrical tape X thing...if you know what I mean. I am not sure how many of these there will be, but I am going to post as much variety as I can without being repetitive or resorting to the taudry.

Appendex Gamma --- Vic and Blood

I had read the short stories in my youth, of course. They were both Post Apoc AND Harlan Ellison, how could I not have?! I also saw the film (more than 20 years ago) and I not sure I remember if I like it or not. I remember that there was some straying from the story (Bad Dog!) and some freakiness with Jason Robards...but I will have to view and review the film (a Boy and his Dog) for a separate entry.

For now, though, lets talk about a specific iteration of the Vic and Blood stories. That would be the comics (graphic novel if the word comic makes you nervous) adaptation by Richard Corben. I must preface my remarks about this to say that I am not exactly subjective when it comes to either Mr. Ellison or Mr. Corben...to my mind they are two men who stand out as paragons of their respective fields!

Having said that, I have to tell you guys about a really cool feature of the edition of Vic and Blood: the continuing adventures of a boy and his dog, that I picked up. I had been looking for one for a while and the subject came up amongst my pals from the Comic book store. My pal Max had a damaged one he said he would GIVE me! (thanks Max, or for this blog should I call you Mad Max?) Well, the edition looks like this...

It is a collection of the comics from the eighties and a neat feature of it is a revised timeline of the Apocalypse to include everything up to about 2002 or so. Even cooler is the forward by Mr. Ellison and the fact that this book alternates the comic and then even gives you the actual text of the short stories. Very cool. What you can see by this is how faithful to the text Mr. Corben remains.

Mr. Corben's art is not as stylized as it usually is. Sure, the women are voluptuous in the Corben style...but not as stylized...not as unearthly. I am sure this has a lot to do with the nature of the story. Heres a shot of one of the "centerfolds" from the comic

I love the way Corben does expressions...even the kinds of faces that normally would not show expressions at all, become open books at the pen of Mr. Corben. There is a picture of a mutant spider in this book, and his face has a kind of creepy expression...I know, I am probably projecting and I am not gonna tell you any more about this scene so you are gonna have to read it!

Another thing I really like about this book is the world. Its post apoc to be sure, but its a different kind of world. This is a world were before the "third war" scientists had tinkered with the physiology of dogs and bred a race of animals that eventually became not only intelligent but also telepathic. In the culture of this post apoc future bands of young men, known as Roverpaks, roam the countryside looking for the most rare of things...females. The dogs help them to track them. This is a future where most of the women were killed in the conflict and not many children are being born. Those that are born are either male or mutants. In all the earth there are a few places that there are some females, underground facilities...

Not gonna say anymore about this, you are going to have to go and read it for yourself. You can get the Vic and Blood stories collected on their own, but you will be in for a real treat if you get the version with the Corben art. Take me at my word, mutants.

One more thing about this work. The last chapter of the book is a sneak peek at a sequal to Vic and Blood, called "Blood's a Rover". Unfortuneatly this is all that has ever been published of these continuing stories. To my knowlege Mr. Ellison never published Blood's a Rover...although if I were to unearth a Djinn lamp that is one of the wishes I would make. I am not saying that these stories are not written, they are just not published. Too bad.

Not to be too much of a fan boy, but in case I have not already made this clear...I really fricking like this book and give it a five out of five mushroom clouds!

Appendix Gamma

Appendix Gamma is a feature where I will discuss the Appendix N material for gaming in the irradiated Earth. This will not only include discussion of James Ward's stated influences, but I will be adding stuff of my own.
First off...the Hiero Desteen stories of Stirling Lanier.

Originally intended to be a trilogy, Heiro's Journey and Unforsaken Hiero detail the adventures of Esper, Priest and Killman, Per Hiero Desteen. 5000 years after an atomic war the world is a very different place. Mutants prowl the world, humanity is holed up in small kingdoms like the Kingdom of D'walla (modern day Delaware). What used to be the Catholic church has evolved into a religious organization that fights for the return of human civilization.

By far, of all the post Apoc fiction I have read, this one is the most like Gamma World (and its children). While I am a fan of Mad Max it is not much like the Gamma Terra I have come to know and love. This book even goes more fantastic than Canticle for Liebewitz...which goes far. I am not going to include spoilers here as it is not my way. The world in these two books (Lanier died before finishing the third book) is a medieval world that is struggling with resurrecting the past in a way that technology is a benefit rather than bane. There are cults and forces that are inimical to human society and they use science to the detriment of civilization by accelerating harmful and deadly mutations into slave races they then use as foot soldier.

It is not as "gonzo" as most people seem to think Gamma World is (I wish I never heard that word!) but there is humour and one can see where some of the naming practices for Gamma World came from. By example the giant riding moose that Hiero rides is a creature called a Morse (Moose + Horse) and Leemute, the term referring to a dangerous mutant, comes from "Lethal Mutation".

Strangely enough, these books are not on John Joseph Adams' list of Post Apocalyptic lit in the appendix of Wastelands...but it should be.

If you are a Gamma Warrior, it should be on your list as well.

Here is the first installment of "Ladies of the Wastes"...or perhaps its just an excuse to indulge my gas mask fetish!

So there you have it...thought I might start out tame. This is not the only thing you will find here...but its the only thing I had ready.

So...I'm back!

Yes, kids, I have returned to the realm of internet screed and rant. There have been a few changes...I do not have any followers...for right now that is. Also, you might notice that there is a warning at the beginning of this page...Adult Material! Doubtless this refers to my new masthead, but not only that. There are a range of topics I will address here that are not mete for young eyes, things like Cannibalism, Murder, Mutants, Radiation and perhaps even R rated movies and or sexy stuff...so be warned. I will not make any promices of regular posting. I shall strive for that, but my life is a giant bowl of chaos and sometimes it wins out over my more entertaining pursuits.

So, tell your friends.

There might even be women in gas masks!